Community Matters

Our Kids by Robert Putnam

What’s it about?
Our Kids is about inequality in America, particularly as it affects American children. We say that it takes a village; the thesis of this book is that the village is only intact for children of parents with at least a college education. If your parents don’t have a college education, if something has come up in their lives to stop them completing college, then you are less likely to be able to complete college and get ahead in the world.

Why should you read it?
There is an entire literature out there about the downfall of the American family. I like this book because it emphasizes that children are not just the product of their parents, but of the communities they live in. Success is a social norm that people in the neighborhood conform to. If a child isn’t on the path, then he or she gets help, usually with input from his/her parents. (There’s a whole other issue there – too much conformity towards success leading to things like “Why Are Palo Alto’s Kids Killing Themselves?” Could it possibly be that self-selection hurts everyone?) But in the neighborhoods with bad schools, the sense of community isn’t as strong. Dr Putnam shows that people with lower incomes have fewer social ties, and are less likely to know someone who can help when they or their children are having problems.

I like the idea that creating a stronger community is part of the answer. I’m biased in this general direction, I’ll admit. Feeling like you’re part of a group can make a world of difference. Stronger communities create more successful children; successful children become wealthier adults (in theory). It’s a place to start.

Networking is really about making friends

never eat alone

 

What’s it about?
Never Eat Alone is about having friends and their importance to your success. The book has some basic guidelines about how to be successful (set a three-year-out goal, create sub-goals that can be achieved every 1-3 months to keep yourself on track) and also how to meet people (hence the never eating alone because meals are a great time to get to know someone). Making and having friends is really how you get ahead in the world – the ambitious parents around here who insist their child get into this or that school often say, “It’s not that they’ll get a better education, it’s that their classmates will be the kids who are also successful.” It’s all about the networking in that case. But your friends will make reaching your goals easier, it won’t magically transport you to a place where all your goals are met.

Why should you read it?
I liked it because of its project-based approach to achieving your goals, and how the book emphasized that you have to work hard in order to get ahead. Networking is part of it – it helps to know the right people – but networking in this case means making friends. It’s not some weird business-only relationship. This book is full of advice about meeting people and being open to new people and being generous towards them. That was refreshing. I did skip the bits of the book that were more about “the brand of you” – creating an online persona that reflects what you want people to know about you rather than what you’re really about. That was all eyeroll-worthy. But overall, there are enough good parts of the book that it’s worth reading.